The Shreveport Times featuring my journey finding Edward Clark, Jr after Hurricane Katrina

"I may be sick. I may be offline for a while."

That was the last thing Ed Clark's online friends and followers heard from him for more than two years.

A former member of the left-wing Students for a Democratic Society, Clark posted his political musings once a week starting in 2003. He was typing on an August night in 2006 when a funny feeling washed over him. His left hand fell lifeless onto the computer keyboard as a stroke gripped him.

"It's like something coming unplugged on your body," Clark recalls.

Clark's online essays were part of his life-long dedication to leftist thinking and Cuban communism in particular. He joined the SDS in the early 1960s. In 1964, just after the Cuban missle crisis, he and others defied U.S. authorities to spend a summer in Cuba learning about the country's Communist government.

"I met Fidel. He came around to say hello to everybody and shake hands with everybody, kind of like politicians everywhere."

He moved to New Orleans after returning because "I wanted to do radical political work in the South."

In 1975, he moved to San Francisco, but in 1992 headed back to New Orleans, for good, he thought. Then came Katrina and the beginning of a journey that brought him to a Shreveport nursing home.

Deborah began searching for Clark after the hurricane. She came to know Clark through online political and religious debates. She tried to meet him a couple of times when visiting New Orleans but things always came up.

"After Katrina, that was the first question on everybody's mind, 'How's Ed?'" she said.

The confusion in those post-hurricane months stymied her search. Clark popped up online in 2006 and let people know he was OK. Then came the last message he was able to type.

"We knew something must be wrong," Debora said.  

Clark's neighbor from New Orleans logged on and said Clark had suffered a stroke but didn't provide many details.

Questions from the other forum members prompted Allen to start looking for him again. A bout with cancer interrupted the search. Prompted by Clark's online friends, she resumed the search in 2008 but kept hitting dead ends when nursing home social workers refused to answer her questions.

Clark can be demanding and sharp-tongued. He criticized the quality of care in some of the nursing homes and complained about not being able to smoke. He talked social workers at some of the facilities into getting him moved. By the time Allen started her search again, he was in his fifth nursing home.

She made one final, desperate call, to the nursing home that first admitted Clark.

She hit pay dirt, in the form of social worker Brent Montou, who helped her track down Clark.

"For some reason, he thought I was Ed's sister," Debora said.

She didn't hesitate. She was still sick from chemotherapy, but talked a friend into driving her to south Louisiana to bring Clark back to Shreveport.

"Ed had no one in his life at that point. I couldn't not be there for him. It was something bigger than myself and something bigger than my not knowing him personally," Debora said. "It was worth taking that chance to ensure he wouldn't ever be alone again. I just cannot imagine how heartbreakingly painful it must be, to face death alone. I wouldn't have been able to live with myself knowing he was down south all alone."

She found the 6-foot-tall Clark was a shadow of himself. His weight had dwindled to 98 pounds.

"He was on hunger strike," Allen said.

Clark says he wasn't starving himself, just refusing food he considered inedible.

"I don't put things that taste bad and smell bad in my mouth," he said. "San Francisco and New Orleans have great food."

Clark begged for some fried chicken on the way back to Shreveport, so they stopped at a mom-and-pop store in Keatchie. These days, Debora brings him anything he wants to eat. Packages of cookies and chips sit atop piles of magazines beside his bed.

The magazines, among them The Economist, are gifts from online friends like Stephen Smith, of Preston, England. Smith, 24, has been one of Clark's online followers since 2003.

"I got involved in helping him because he's a very intelligent and deep-thinking person that had been through a lot in his life," he said via e-mail. "When he had his stroke, it did come as a shock, but many people who knew Ed were more than happy to help in any way they could."

Some forum members also send postcards and pictures. Debora hopes they'll support an effort to get Clark to an eye doctor and get him new glasses so he can see his computer screen again.

She expects he'll have to ride to the doctor's office in an ambulance because he can't sit in a wheelchair for long periods of time. Medicaid and Medicare won't cover the ride, but one or the other probably will pay for glasses, she said.

"Once I get my vision back, I expect to spend every day online," Clark said. "During those months at the nursing homes in south Louisiana, I wouldn't have minded that being the end, but not now, not if I have a chance to get back online."


Written by Melody Brumble

Learning Organizations and Effectiveness

Learning Organizations and Effectiveness 

A learning organization is skilled at two things; first it creates, acquires, interprets, transfers and retains knowledge. The second is to act, by modifying behavior to respond to new knowledge. It

comes up with new ideas, moves them around in the organization, and keeps the organization whole by creating policies and procedures. It actually acts, using new knowledge as a basis for responding. “A learning organization is an organization skilled at creating, acquiring and transferring knowledge, and modifying its behavior to reflect new knowledge and insights” (Garvin, 1993). This paper will outline the characteristics of an ideal learning organization, what barriers may be present, and strategies to overcome those barriers.

Characteristics of the Ideal Learning Organization

Learning processes and the learning environment are what makes learning possible, but more importantly, leadership that fosters and inspires the learning processes and helps create the learning environment. "The rate in which organizations and individuals learn may become the only sustainable source of competitive advantage" in the future (Senge, 2012. p349). Products and services can be copied as well as processes, but if learning is more rapid than the competition, then the organization can get ahead and stay ahead. If the rate of learning isn’t ahead of the rate of global change, then the organization will fall behind.

            When learning organizations work under the assumption that learning is valuable, permanent and effective, certain characteristics will emerge.  Peter Senge, who was named the ‘Strategist of the Century’ by the Journal of Business Strategy, is one of the leading authorities on the concept of the learning organization model.  According to Senge, “The dimension that distinguishes learning from more traditional organizations is the mastery of certain basic disciplines or ‘component technologies” (Smith 2011).  Five dimensions of an ideal learning organization are:

·         Systems thinking

·         Personal mastery

·         Mental models

·         Building shared vision

·         Team learning

            When people are learning agents, they are able to act within the learning structures and systems they become a part of. “All the disciplines are, in this way, ‘concerned with a shift of mind from seeing parts to seeing wholes, from seeing people as helpless reactors to seeing them as active participants in shaping their reality, from reacting to the present to creating the future” (Senge 1990: 69).

Systems thinking – the cornerstone of the learning organization 

                In The Fifth Discipline, Senge provides the introduction to the basics and uses of systems thinking. Systematic thinking is the foundation of the learning organization. The observable behaviors of systems thinking is the capacity to create complex systems from simple frameworks.When there is an appreciation of systems, then appropriate action will follow. 

            A good example of systems thinking is the Shreveport Master Plan 2030. Revitalization of downtown Shreveport was one of newly elected Cedric Glover’s main election platforms. He called upon the citizens of Shreveport to help facilitate a master plan to oversee the transformation of the urban blighted neighborhoods. He invited experts and citizens alike to participate in focus groups. Crime was an issue in the older Shreveport neighborhoods. Citizens that lived in these areas expressed a strong need to remove drug trafficking that was so prominent. Mayor Glover, as well as other city officials, made this a priority. The mayor himself knocked on doors of those that lived in that area to stimulate resident participation.

            Once the mayor incorporated a systems building model into the Master Plan, focus group participants assisted in creating solutions to the blighted the area. The outcome of several focus groups; if new families would move in, then new commerce would follow. The Mayor and city council also voted to give tax cuts to anyone who would move in or set up new businesses downtown. The results were successful. Crime went down, people began feeling safe enough to move back into the area and new construction began. One of the largest companies to take advantage of the new tax incentives the city of Shreveport offered businesses to set up downtown was Millennium Film Studios. Not only is the neighborhood safe for new housing developments, but the amount of revenue the movie business has brought to Shreveport has boosted the economy beyond anyone’s dreams. Mayor Glover’s Master Plan 2030 is a prime example of a learning organization put into motion for successful outcomes.

Personal Mastery

Personal mastery is the discipline of repetitively expounding and furthering our personal vision, of staying focused, of developing patience, and being objective. Mastery is the furthering of proficiency, competence and skills. It is when vision and creativity isn’t just a good idea but it becomes part of the organizational structure. “Organizations learn only through individuals who learn. Individual learning does not guarantee organizational learning. But without it no organizational learning occurs” (Senge 1990: 139). Attaining personal mastery makes an individual a work in progress. It is to live life with purpose and integrity.

An example of personal mastery would be attempting to change a bad habit. Focusing on the behavior is the first step to correcting it. But if one wants to change their behavior, they have to move away from the mindset they are in and move to a new mental model. Changing the way one thinks is the key to becoming a person with new outcomes. To summarize, personal mastery will help develop self awareness, a better attitude, and behavior changes.

Mental models

A mental model is one that is constructed and replicated within a conscious mind and to be aware of the world and how you relate to the world.  Many mental modes are assumptions based on past experiences. Some models simply help us make sense of the world.  Changing a mental model is to see the world differently by restricting what is familiar into a new way of thinking.

"Mental models are deeply ingrained assumptions, generalizations, or even pictures or images that 

influence how we understand the world and how we take action. Very often, we are not consciously 

aware of our mental models or the effects they have on our behavior." (Senge 2012:p.8).

Building a shared vision

When an organization has a shared vision instead of being expected to learn through tradition means, people want to learn.  Strategies needed to build a shared vision are:

· initiating a shared vision

· translating the vision into action by using systems thinking

· The ability to communicate and convince others of the vision to others

·  The ability to stay focused to the essence of the vision when unforeseen obstacles pop up.

Team Learning

            Team learning is more than group thinking. Team learning comes from the ability to explore a problem deeply. Senge says in the Fifth Discipline that the IQs of the group are collectively higher than one individual. This truth has been incorporated into a local homeless coalition’s plan of action to end homelessness in Shreveport, Louisiana.

The board of directors of Hope for the Homeless is a good example of team learning and sharing the collective intelligence of the group. Each member of the board comes from a different organization in the community that caters to the homeless population of the city. When there is a chronically homeless person who has never been housed permanently, the group will come together, each person with a set of skills and resources. Many times a homeless person has a mental diagnosis and getting that person into treatment may be impossible. If that person has no personal identification card or social security card, then the local clinics will not see them. It is fascinating to watch how someone who represents the clinic will find a way for that person to get in to see the doctor outside traditional means. Once on medication, the homeless person becomes compliant and each agency represented can volunteer their services until that person is living in their own apartment or home. The success rate of maintaining these individuals in housing has become focus nationally. Other cities are adopting the strategies Hope for the Homeless as formulated into successful programs in other cities. When team learning happens in this manner, the group solution developed, it is evident it surpasses the work one member could have done by themselves.

Barriers and Strategies

            Barriers to the success of a learning model can happen when an organization does not incorporate all the facets of the learning paradigm. Personal mastery is a difficult characteristic to incorporate because it is a subjective concept with no measurable outcomes. Senge states, “To empower people in an unaligned organization can be counterproductive.” (Senge 2012 p.136). When individuals do not share a common vision, personal mastery will only serve to benefit personal visions.

            Another barrier in the success of moving a tradition organization into a learning model is the lack of a learning culture. A learning culture will not develop if individuals do not feel they can share their ideas and knowledge. When an environment can be created where individuals can share their knowledge without being devalued or ignored, then a learning culture can grow.

            Resistance to change by the individuals in an organization can be detrimental to the learning process. Resistance can happen if individuals feel threatened or believe they will have something to lose. Unless learning is implemented across the organization, learning may be considered elitist and for senior staff only. Many times resistance happens because there are people who are closed minded and are not open to the idea of a shared vision. Those that suffer a closed mind will see training and development as controlling instead of beneficial to them personally as well as an organization as a whole. Other barriers are the size of the organization, lack of resources such as time and commitment, lack of leadership skills, and studying the problem too long.

Assessing Learning Progress

            As with any project, the way to test whether the organization is moving into a learning organization would be through assessment. The assessment process is an opportunity to train staff members in learning principles and will assist in gauging the knowledge base and learning skills of the group. There are specific characteristics that need to be addressed during the assessment phase. Focus groups and oral and written evaluations are good assessment tools to use. Another option that can be used to assess learning in a group is to allow individuals of the group to do self-assessments. Here, an individual will express what they found helpful and what they feel they can use assistance with. Self assessment can give the learning instructor a wealth of information about the person.

            Group interviews are another excellent tool.” Learning practices at the team, company, and inter-company levels relate to group dynamics, such as communications and coordinated efforts. Participants describing both sides of knowledge transfers can offer more complete perspectives” (Bohlin, N., & Brenner, P).

            The use of stories and scenarios is another assessment tool. Getting answers to abstract questions can be very telling when attempting to assess learning. The creative use of anecdotes and stories will ignite remembering memories or incidents and mastering new processes.

Four compelling characteristics of a learning organization

There are four characteristics that would greatly assist an authoritarian organization in becoming a
learning organization. They are psychological safety, appreciation of differences, openness to new
ideas, and time for reflection (Garvin & Gino 2008), Psychological safety- If members of an organization feel threatened to speak up for fear of retaliation psychological safety has been jeopardized. They must be able to ask questions, express ideas without ridicule or fear of their ideas being used as the ideas of their supervisors without credit being given to the one whose idea it was. If a member cannot feel comfortable psychologically, then learning isn’t going to be successful.

Appreciation of differences- Diversity of ideas will bring forth learning if those with opposing ideas
can see diversity as a tool to expand ideas and learn. Differences can create new energy and
alternatives through motivation and changing the way members think and respond to those who are
different than themselves.

Openness to new ideas- Members of an organization should feel comfortable taking risks and
exploring the unknown. Learning is much more than solving problems. Creating innovative
approaches should be just as much a priority as correcting mistakes.

Time for reflection- Lack of time is a barrier most organizations experience. When people are bombarded with tasks and not enough time to do them, they are unable to think creatively. It is harder to learn from experiences when individuals are stressed out. When learning environments are in place, people are better able to think analytically.

Organizational barriers and strategies to resolve them

Strategies are available to organizations that are experiencing barriers within learning organizations. 

Here are a few that may assist in forming a learning organization. Essential elements for change effort are:

• Define the problem

• Define the target population

• Define effective treatment strategies and establish procedural guidelines

• Establish performance measures; set goals

• Define effective system changes and interventions

• Develop leadership and system change strategy

Conclusion

            The learning needs of a company will change as it revises its vision and strategy. The fundamentals of a learning organization can be summarized when a group’s commonly shared goals continue to improve through a learning culture. Learning processes environments are what make learning possible, as is positive leadership that inspires the learning processes and creates the learning environment. Five dimensions of an ideal learning organization are, systems thinking, personal mastery, mental models, building shared vision, and team learning. Four characteristics of a successful learning organization are psychological appreciation of differences, openness to new ideas, and time for reflection. Senge states, “learning organizations are developed and valued by five disciplines and that the basic meaning of a learning organization is one that is continually expanding its capacity to create its future” (Senge 2012 p.14). It is questionable whether there has ever been a true learning organization; however organizations that are considered the most successful do embrace these ideals and are seeing the value of how the individual is the most important resource.

References

Bohlin, N., & Brenner, P. (n.d.). Assessing and Valuing Progress. Measuring Learning. Retrieved March 24, 2012, from http://www.adlittle.de/uploads/tx_extprism/1995_q3_22-28.pdf

Garvin, D., Edmondson, A., & Gino, F. (2008, March). Is Yours a Learning Organization?.Harvard Business Review. Retrieved March 24, 2012, from http://hbr.org/2008/03/is-yours-a-learning-organization/ar/1

Senge, P. (2012, March 24). The Fifth Discipline: The Art and Practice of the Learning..Amazon.com. Retrieved March 24, 2012, from http://www.amazon.com/Fifth-Discipline-Practice-Learning-Organization/dp/0385260954

Smith, S. K. (2011). The Learning Organzation. Infed. Retrieved March 23, 2012, from http://www.infed.org/biblio/learning-organization.htm

Fly Away- The Second Coming

This is a story I wrote on the second coming. It was published when I was in college. I thought I had lost it, but it was in an old blog. Bobby Darrow was my editor. It was my first published piece, back in 1988 in a college competition.

It’s been really lonely around here without Carol Jane and lil Dan. I miss yelling at Danny. The boy was a spitting image of me, always into something. Why last week ol’ Miss Eula was pounding on the door, something ‘bout Lil Dan throwing water balloons at her big butt as she was bent over in her black berry bushes. Carol Jane, eight months pregnant, looked like she had swallowed a watermelon, was always running after the boy, chicken legs, toppled by a belly, I love her, with every thing I’m made of. She was a good woman, putting up with the two of us. She called us, Pete and Repeat. She was always pleading with me to come worship Jesus with her at the Hopewell Redeemer Pentecostal Fellowship Church over in Ida. I guess I should have listened to her, but that damn Rev. Huey Partian just didn’t rub me the right way. They called him Bro. Crutch, something about being our Crutch to lean on in times of need. Something was seriously wrong with that man. That boy of his Teddy, all curly headed, cocked eyed, and had a hell of a stutter, that just wasn’t of natural origin.
It was a week ago today, Easter Sunday. I had promised Carol Jane I would make it to the meeting on time. I just needed a little drive in my old pickup truck down the back road to gather my emotions. Of course, a twelve pack didn’t hurt either. 
It was a beautiful morning. All the yellow and red wild flowers swayed back and forth in unison along the old black tar road. The smell of beer and magnolia trees was making me woosey. I almost forgot where I was going. I didn’t realize what was in store for me at the end of that worn driven road. 
I was a little late getting there, but hey, that was fine with me. My stomach was churning and my head was spinning from the mixture of drinking too fast and the thought of all those fat sweaty women fanning away with a glazin’ look in their eyes as they cherished and worshiped every word that ol’ Brother Crutch had to say.
As I stepped out of the truck, my legs were like rubber, but I made it to the church door. When I entered the sanctuary, everyone was in their pews and the piano was playing, “Love Lifted Me”. The women were already beginning to sway to the music. The ceiling fans were blowing and a soft breeze was flowing through the multi colored glass windows panes that you can prop open in hot weather. All there was left was a corner seat on the back pew. I knew Bro. Crutch would have something to say about back row Baptists. As I sat down, I felt a big hairy beer belch come up. Miss Eula turned around starring me down, just fanning away. I just stared back at her thinking, what the hell am I here for? I looked around for Carol Jane and lil’ Dan. They were on the third row opposite side of the church. She looked back at me smiling not caring that I didn’t make my way to the front of the church to sit with her and my boy. She was just proud I had kept my word and showed up. Damn, that woman! She looked so pretty in her homemade yellow Easter dress. I can’t stay mad at her. I smiled back.
Bro. Joshua, the associate pastor, was going down the rows shaking hands. As he gets to Carol Jane, she points me out to him. The most evil look came upon his greasy little face. I cringed as he came towards me. Word has it, Bro. Josh spent a few years in Angola. He just couldn’t stand the idea of his first wife leaving him for a woman. They were found together with bullet holes right between the eyes. 
“Hello Brother George, I haven’t seen you here in about a year,” he said to me. “Its good to see you’re setting a good example for that boy of yours. He’s been picking on Teddy Boy in Sunday School and as you would have to agree, that’s just plain mean. I hope you will have a nice civil father/son talk with him about cruelty to those less fortunate.”
He was shaken my hand so hard for so long, that I wanted to puke all over him, but I refrained, being in church and all.
Up ahead of me, I noticed Bear and Tonya. Tonya is about to give birth for the first time. She was always a little wild and wooly and used to keep an unkept look about her until recently. She used to go down to Fatso’s Truck Stop and drink and flirt with all the truckers when Bear would go on a motorcycle ride with his biker brothers. But since she’s got pregnant, the fear of the Lord has taken over, so she doesn’t wear make up or pants anymore and her knees are always covered.
Bear must have been suckered into Easter services too. He was there but hadn’t backed down in his appearance. He was dressed in his typical biker gear. His long jet black hair was pulled back with rubber bands all the way to the end of his pony tail. Along with his leather vest and chaps and all those evil skull tattoos showing for everyone to see. Hell, he was actually dressed up for Sunday services. I don’t care what they say about him, he’s one hell of a guy. At least twice a week, I’ll go down to his tattoo parlor and watch him tattoo all those young girls that come in, or if he’s in the mood, he’ll work on one of mine. We drink beer, then ride out to Blue Hole on our bikes and get high. Yup, Bear’s about as happy to be here as I am, judging from the uncomfortable look on his face.
All of a sudden, or so it seemed, the choir entered in procession down the middle isle to the choir booth behind the pulpit. They were clapping and singing robustly, “I’ll Fly Away”. Charlie Allen, Lil Dan’s principal, led the choir in their rejoicing. He’s always making an example out of Lil Dan- everyday he is on the boy, like dirt on a pig. When Charlie and I was boys, I once found him putting Barbie clothes on his G.I. Joe. Of course I told the whole football team their half back was cross dressing his G.I. Joe. He’s never forgiven for that and now my youngun has to pay. I hear he keeps a lingerie collection of his own in the trunk of his car. I sure wish I could get a hold of those car keys. I bet then he would leave my boy alone.
After the choir was in their place, Bro. Crutch entered through the side door and stood at the pulpit. All these colored track lights were beaming down on his bald head. He’s smiling with his hands lifted towards the heavens. Everyone was standing and swaying and mumbling words that didn’t make no sense. All I did, was sit there getting dizzy watching them. It made me wonder if Jesus was watching this in enjoyment, kind of like the All American Wrestling Match that comes on TV every Saturday night. Its seems so real that you can’t tell if its fake or not. 
A few of the women approached the alter and laid flowers around where Brother Crutch was standing. They stood, just this side of the podium. Crutch won’t let the women behind the pulpit because it would be defiled according to the book of Leviticus. The idea always left a sour look on Mildred Partians face. Mildred, being Brother Crutches sister. If you ask me, Mildred would make a better preacher than Crutch. She is a large woman, with her hair dyed fiery red and a lot of teasing. She always wears red lipstick to match her hair. She has a strong loud speaking voice, too. She had often been in the tattoo parlor looking for a tattoo, secretly. Many times she has told me of her past, before coming to the Lord. 
For a while she had been an emcee in some bar in Nashville. She said the place was called Charlie’s Truck Stop and Drag Bar. She would announce the performers before they would do their female imitations. If you ask me, sounds like the kind of place our very own Charlie Allen would like. Mildred loves those tattoos of hers. She’s been one of Bears best most loyal customers over the years, again, secretly of course, coming in after hours. I cant stressed that confidence enough. 
Mildred loves those tattoos of hers. They have all been place strategically where no one can see them unless Mildred’s naked. She has one on her butt of Elmer Fudd, another one on her breast that said, “Anthony” inside a heart, but after her breast reduction, all that was left was “ANT”. She’s got plenty more, but those two are my favorite. What’s funny is, Crutch and the family doesn’t know anything about them!
Getting back to Crutch, after he had felt he had enough adoration from the congregation, he motioned for everyone to sit down. It took everyone a little while to settle down and catch their breath. He began to welcome the visitors. The ushers came forward with visitation cards and little pencils. Crutch would then welcome the unfaithful and ask them to stand and say their names. I hate that part, so I just sat there, scrunched down, hoping he couldn’t see me half passed out on the back row. The ushers made their way through the congregation. I thought, Whew, I made it through that. 
“ Well hello, John Golden. I see you found yourself a seat way back there on the last row. I say, back row Christians will be the last to enter the gates of heaven on that glorious day of the Rapture!”, as he pounded both fists on the podium.”Do I get an amen, folks?”
“Amen!” Everyone hollered.
Dammit, I thought, I knew that would happen. Carol Jane turned around and blew me a kiss, and Lil Dan was giggling at me. I just winked back at the two of them.
Brother Crutch sat back down, with a smug look on his face, and allowed Brother Joshua to give the announcements., The first announcement given was about them picketing the abortion clinic in Monroe. Crutch and Joshua feel they have the calling of God to be spiritual activist and to cleanse the Earth of all abominations against the Lord. They’ve even led the congregation to be arrested for throwing baby dolls covered in red paint on the lawn of the abortion clinic. I have always felt those two were responsible for the Leesville abortion clinic being torched to the ground.
Brother Joshua went on to make an appeal to all the saved. 
“Now all you born again Christians out there aren’t doing what you know is right- what Jesus would do.” he solemnly said. “You all know that once you’re saved, you are to go out into the heathen world, door to door, spreading the gospel. Now soul-winning groups go out on Saturday mornings and I expect all of you to be there.”
“Praise Jesus!”Brother Crutch shouted.
All of a sudden Crutch stands up quoting from the Bible.
“He that believeth on me, believeth not on me, but on him that sent me! And he that seeth him that sent me.”
Well as usual that confused the hell out of me. I mean I know that quote was scripture and Jesus said it, but Crutch made it sound as if he had made it up and it was about him. He was good at suckering people like that. Here was a whole church suckered. These poor simple people. All that wanted was to do what was right. 
I was already starting to get pissed off and we weren’t even through the announcements yet. Crutch must have noticed my face, twisted in anger, because he was staring straight at me when he said,
“Twice a year on Christmas and Easter I get some of you heathens in here, so I’m going to keep you here for a while. Ushers, lock the doors, nobody is leaving here until I have my say!”
The ushers then proceeded to chain the doors together. Crutch ten sat back down and gave Brother Joshua the pulpit. Joshua was breathing real hard and sweating. Those colored lights above him, looked like they were sucking energy from his head. We wiped his brow and proceeded with the announcements.
The next announcement was to congratulate Mr. And Mrs. Ovis Snead on the arrival of their sixth child. Oh Lord, I thought, poor Janey Snead is twenty years old, been married eight years, and done given birth to six kids.
“Now, that’s what I like to hear”, Brother Joshua said. Janey is doing her God given duty to populate this world with babies and we will do all we can to mold Ovis’ offspring into servants of God. Let’s just pray they all don’t look like Ovis.”
Everyone just laughed and some hollered “AMEN!”. Ovis just sat there near me on th the back row, with a wrinkled brow and his mouth half opened, looking as if to be thinking, I got six kids. I’ve filled my quota. On that cheerful note, Josh sat back down, grinning real evil like.
Charlie Allen stood to lead the choir and congregation in song. Being Easter, he chose the hymn The Old Rugged Cross as his selection. I could feel tears welling up in my eyes as they began to song. My mother would sing that song as she did the laundry on her old ringer washer on the back porch. We later had it sung at her funeral sixteen years back.
The mood was real serious after that song. We put up our hymnals and waited for what was next. Crutch then took the stand. He stood there a while real quiet with his head bowed. He slowly raised his head looking up into the colored lights. There were big tears running down his face. Then I realized
it was offering time. Those tears must have been the clue for the ushers to come forward with the offering plates. They were sliver, lined in purple velvet, glue to long sticks. Crutches bottom lip began to quiver as he spoke,
“Blessed be the gift givers, for theirs are the kingdom of God! Folks, I want you to reach in your pockets real deep and give all you got to the Lord.”
The piano began to play and the ushers moved from row to row.
I didn’t have any money on me, because I spent it all on beer and gasoline for the truck. The usher got to me and pushed the plate right up under my nose. I pushed it back at him.
“John, John, John.” He whispered under his breath.
The ushers then moved forward to the pulpit. The head usher took the money from the plates and placed it in a large purple bag and handed it to Crutch. He then sat the bag under his chair and sat their grinning like he just laid a big golden egg. 
Well, I figured we were less than halfway through this nightmare, and I had to go take a leak real bad. I was trying to figure a way out, but those damn doors were chained shut. There was a side door I could use, but it was way up there by Crutch and his chair so I just sat there holding the urge with my legs crossed. 
Crutch moved forward. He walked down the middle isle. He was checking out people for evil possessions. His arms were held in the air like some kind of thermometer to catch devils. He walked back and forth, up and down the isles mumbling. There was one little boy over by Teddy who was wearing an old flannel shirt, faded jeans, and old tennis shoes that were worn and frayed. My guess was that Crutch sent Teddy out to find some poor backwoods child that needed a few bucks. Sure enough the thermometer stopped in front of the boy. Crutch’s arms started shaking, then his torso, then his legs. With a wobbling voice, he said,
“What’s your name boy?”
Bless his heart, the boy was half scared to death. He answered,
“Brian John, sir.”
The boy closed his eyes and stood up. Then he started shaking too. Crutch then screamed,
“I feel a spirit of illness in this boy. Brian, do you have an ailment of any kind?”
“Yes sir, he said. “I been havin’ trouble with stomach worms and I’m always hungry.”
Crutch pulled the boy up in front of the church so that all could see. He first laid hands on the boys belly, then his head. He then raised his hands to the heavens and said,
“In the name of the Lord I command this boy to be healed!”
Little Brian doubled over like he was about to hurl chunks.
He gagged and growled and then spit something into Crutches hands. 
“Praise God,” Crutch hollered. “This boys been set free!” The he held the evidence up for all to see. What looked like night crawlers were coverings his hands and arms. A few fell from his hands and landed in Miss Eula’s freshly done hairdo. She began to swat at her head and bounced around in her pew. I think she was cussing a little bit too.
Teddy led the boy out the side door. Lil’ Brian went and sat under an oak tree near the woods. He sat there with his head in his hands. A few minutes later he stood up, wiped off the back of his pants, and walked off into the woods.
Meanwhile the choir had started the special music. Three of the old women in the choir came down and sat at their instruments. The guitars started strumming and the fiddle joined in. Everyone was shouting praises for the healing of little Brian.
As the song progresses, I noticed it was getting dark outside. The forecast had predicted pretty weather for the whole week. Damn, and I was going to take Lil’ Dan Easter egg hunting after the meeting. After the special song, the women went and sat down in the choir loft.
Brother Joshua then went to the pulpit.
“Does anyone have a testimony they want to share on this special day?”
Everyone looked around at each other to see who would stand and speak. It seemed everyone in the congregation was afraid to speak. Finally Eula stood.
“I had a special blessing this week,” she said.
Her voice bellowed out of her forcefully. She stood holding on to the back of the pew in front of her.
“As most of you know, my Aunt Audrey has not been doing too good with a disabilitating condition. She wants to thank all of you for your prayers and wants me to tell ya’ll her gout is getting better, thanks to you all. Would like to ask for your prayers. I’ve been thinking about my boy lately. It’s near his birthday and he would have been thirty nine years old come Friday. As she sat back down, I noticed she gave Crutch a looked as if to damn him to hell.
She had always held Crutch responsible for the death of her son Patrick. About twenty years back, when Crutch took over the church, Patrick was the youth director. Crutch always called him Patty, because he was such a pretty boy. He never had any girl friends and was pretty much a loner. He loved his youth group and devoted all his time and love to those kids. One morning in front of the congregation, Crutch asked for Patrick’s resignation. He then explained Patrick had confided in him that Pat sometimes had homosexual thoughts. Crutch then went on to hold a church vote. Patrick was asked to leave the church and not come back. Later that night, Eula found him hanging from the rafters in her barn. I firmly believe losing that boy was the very thing that turned Miss Eula into the crabby old mule that she is today.
“Thank you Miss Eula, anyone else got anything to say?” Brother Josh said.
Bout that time, Carol Jane stood up. The sunlight coming through the colored glass panes, shown on her as if to make her look like she had a halo of many colors. 
“Yes, Carol Jane?” Josh asked.
‘I would like to share my greatest blessing of all, : She said. "God, chose to bless me by giving me a wonderful husband who is here today.”
Everyone kind of looked around at me. 
“I have a healthy little boy and a precious baby on the way. I thank Jesus for them everyday.”
“Oh that’s real nice, Carol Jane.” Joshua said. “Real nice. Anyone else? If no one has anything else to add, I’d like to share something with ya’ll. I feel blessed to have a great man and prophet like Brother Crutch to guide me and show me the ways of God.”
“Preach on brother!”Shouted one of the ushers.
Joshua continued.
“Brother Crutch has shown us all the way to Heaven and when I look upon the face of this man, it is if the light of God is shining through.”
“Amen!” Everyone shouted.
Oh God, I thought. I just can’t take much more of this.
I looked over at Bear. He was squirming around in his pew like he couldn’t get comfortable. I was squirming too, but that was because that twelve pack had hit my bladder hard and felt as if it was about to explode.
“Thank you, ladies for your testimonies.” Joshua said.
He sat back down and Crutch took over. 
“Wouldn’t this be a wonderful day to meet our Lord and Savior in the sky folks?” Crutch said. He proceeded to talk a bit about the signs of the times. “On that great last day, the saints will rise and meet the Lord in the skies. Those who are left behind will go through a great tribulation for seven years. Some will be saved, but will have to suffer torment. For those left behind, they will go through a great tribulation for seven years. Some will be saved, but will have to suffer torment. For those left behind, they will have to die for their salvation.”
I felt it get real hot and it felt like the blood was rushing to my head.
“I am a fundamental, independent, Bible believing, Pentecostal preacher,” He continued. “I also believe before we leave, this building, this morning, Jesus Christ could come for his church. This world is not my home, I’m just passing through. I think of a verse we should always be charged up by, Revelations 12:12- And it says, something like this, Woe unto you inhabitants of the Earth, for the devil has come down into you having great wrath, because he knows he has but a short time. In other words, old smutty face has done read the Bible. He’s probably read it a lot more than you have. He knows what is going to happen to him in the end, and he fights hard! It’s a shame that apostates and Satan worshipers work harder at their beliefs than we do for Jesus. Now my people here have heard this and it is repetition to them, but one thing I’ve learned about you folks, you forget too quick and to easy. Now if you will pay attention, ya’ll will come out a little different than you came in.”
Now one thing I have to say about ol’ Crutch, he is a dynamic preacher. His words have a way of getting down real deep into you and making you think. He went onto tell of the end times and the signs to watch for, like locust the size of cats with faces of women and tails two feet long, that will bite you until you scream in agony. What I was watching, was a terrible storm brewing outside. The sky had gotten so dark, it looked red.
“The sign of the times are upon us now.” he went on. “All our great riches will come to naught and if a man doesn’t put his faith in the Bible. He will be doomed, and the Bible says it gets worse. When it talks about these things, it makes me tremble to my knees and I know I’m going to heaven, I know I’m saved and I tremble. If you don’t know you are going to Heaven then you are a fool, a fool, a fool!”
Now, I wasn’t the only one squirming around at theat point. You could feel the fear of all congregated there, but I noticed something about Lil Dan. He was trembling and laughing and jerking around like he was having some kind of fit. Carol Jane had her arm around him trying to calm him but then it happened. 
      All of a sudden, he started rising upwards, first real slow, then when he started rising upwards, first real slow, then when he hit the ceiling, his body started migrating towards the window. Crutch had shut up and was ordering Carol Jane to catch him. Joshua was jumping in the air, trying to catch him by the feet, but he floated on out the window. Most everyone was trying to cram through the side door to get outside, seeing the back doors were chained shut. By the time I got outside, my boy was high in the clouds, so far away. I could barely see him. I found Carol Jane. She was crying. She looked me in the eyes and said,
“John, the Lord Jesus just raptured our boy! He’s done taken him home!”
Brother Joshua ran towards us yelling,
“What kind of joke is this, Carol Jane? Are you trying to make fools of us?”
Carol Jane calmly looked up at Joshua and said,
“No, its you that’s made us look like fools. Lil Dan was raptured.”
Joshua looked around to see if anyone heard what she said and took off running into the sanctuary.
We were all confused, not knowing what to do. The sky was like I had never seen it. It was as black as coal. The wind was blowing as loud as the women were wailing. Everyone was scared and confused. What the hell was going on anyway?
Bear walked up to me. I’ve never seen him so mad. He was madder than the time the deputy sheriff picked him up for marijuana, took it from him and paid $200.00 not to arrest him.
“John,” Bear said. “Crutch has led our women to believe they would go to heaven if they just did what he told them. We’ve gone through all this shit they’ve put us through. He’s lied to our women, John, and I’m going to kill him.”
“Wait a minute”! We turned around, here come Miss Eula with her sawed off shotgun.
“Lets kill the bastard!” She hollered.
We looked around and noticed everyone had figured out the same thing. Charlie Allen was opening the trunk of his car. He was yelling,
“Where the hell is my pistol?” 
He didn’t seem to care to the fact pantyhose and lingerie was flying everywhere.
I looked around but I didn’t see Crutch or Joshua. I could hardly see anyway, it was so dark. I was able to see better when one of the car headlights came on. It was one of the ushers trying to start his car. Bear and I ran over there to find the purple velvet money bag sitting in the seat of his car.
“This will keep us high for a while”, Bear said as he threw me the bag. I stuffed it in my pants until I got the opportunity to hide it in Bears storage box on his Harley.
We walked back over to where the congregation was. They were all huddled together, crying, and holding on to each other, like cattle ready for the slaughter. Bear decided to take control of the situation. He stood on the front stairs of the church to make his announcement. Eula was right beside him. The old girl fired that shotgun in the air. Everyone quieted down and gave Bear their attention. 
“Look everyone,” Bear said, “I’m gonna find that son of a bitch and we are going to decide what to do with him.”
Everyone followed Bear back to the church scouting down Crutch. As we entered the sanctuary, we found Crutch on his hands and knees looking for the bag of money. When he noticed us coming after him, he jumped to his feet with a look of terror in his eyes, and ran out the side door. Bear and I took off after him. We got outside and noticed Crutch heading for the woods. We knew if he got far enough into the woods, we wouldn’t be able to find him. Bear jumped on his bike and headed him off before it was too late. Charlie and I grabbed a rope from his open car trunk and pinned Crutch up against a tree. By the time we roped him up, the rest of the congregation was there to help.
“Crutch, Where did Joshua go to?” He asked. 
“I think he’s in the woods waiting on me.” He said. “Look folks, there’s been a big misunderstanding ‘round here. It ain’t my fault this happened,” he said. “I told you folks how too find...”
“Shut up, you old lyin’ bastard!” Screamed Eula. Bout that time she butted him upside his head with her shotgun.
I’ve had it with all your lying. It’ll be a cold day in hell when I forgive you for killing my boy.”
“Look folks”, Bear said. “I don’t know if you realize this or not, but that old geezer has flim flammed your asses, he has gotten away with it for years. How much money has he squeezed out of you all? My God, you folks would participate in that Paycheck Sunday crap twice a year. Was it worth it to give your whole paycheck and what in the hell did he do with all that money anyhow? Now the raptures done got here and you all are still sitting here on Earth. Where are your heavenly rewards now?
Young Ovis quietly moved to the front of the crowd. His face was swollen from crying.
“For five years I’ve tried to do what is right”, he said. Janey and I was here every Sunday and Wednesday meeting time. She would be here working and cooking for the old folks on Wednesday morning seniors meeting. I would do repair on this building until the late night hour on Saturdays. I could have been home helping her with the kids. She was always so tired keeping a clean home and happy kids. Folks, I know most of you have good hearts, but You’ve been worshiping a man not God. Jesus didn’t come here to make you downhearted and to hate people you don’t understand. Crutch twisted the truth, you’ve been worshiping Crutch and turned your eyes away from Jesus. Its not too late though. We can get back on the right track. We can try real hard to find out how its done. 
     Crutch was still tied up to the tree. The crowd started moving closer around him. Mildred and Carol Jane were standing over to the side holding on to each other.
“Miss Eula, what do you think about shooting Crutch right between the eyes with your shot gun?” Bear asked. “I think you should have the honors.”
“It would be my pleasure to make right my boys death,”she said.
The rest of the crowd started to move back away from Eula and that gun of hers. They all knew what a bad shot she really was. Crutch was sweating and praying and trying to get himself unloosed. 
“Please, please, Eula don’t shoot me. I don’t was to die just yet.”
“Maybe I should do it then,”Bear said. 
He took the gun away from Eula. The he aimed it at Crutches foot and fired. Crutch screamed out in agony, then passed right on out.
“Stop it, stop it right now!” Carol Jane cried. She and Mildred pushed their way to the front of the crowd.
“Bear, she said, “Eula, we need to get back to what is important here. Do you realize we are going to live through the next seven years of tribulation? We are going to have to figure out what we are going to do. I think we should start by forgiving each other.”
“Lord, I’ve been wrong, too.” Ovis chimed in.”It’s not Crutches fault I’ve sinned, it’s mine.”
Suddenly in the sky, the clouds started rolling back and a great white light shined through. I looked around at everybody and they were on their knees. I looked over at Carol Jane and she was smiling at me. At that point, she and Mildred started rising up. I tried to get to her before she disappeared, but it happened in the twinkling of an eye. All I could hear was a faint whisper of her sweet voice,
“I love you, John, I’ll be watching over you.”
What was I going to do? Without her I was the biggest screw up you would ever have seen. She had such a calming effect on me. Why I Haven’t been in a fight since the night I met her ten years ago. All my old buddies are either dead or in jail and I would have been one of them if it hadn’t been for her love.


I just wish I could have told her good bye.
I looked around and noticed some people were missing. Mildred, Carol Jane, Ovis, Tonya, and ll the children were all gone. Bear started running around looking for Tonya, screaming her name. When he couldn’t find her, he just got on his bike and rode off down the road.
It was then I realized something. The tree where Crutch had been tied there was nothing there but a rope that was stained with blood.
“John,” Charlie said.” Did you see that?” He was pointing to the tree. “All of a sudden, Crutch woke up and stood. He said,
“Into they hands I commend my spirit”. And in a flash, the man just disappeared into thin air. The Lord took him up. He forgave Crutch for all the sorry things he did.

Like I said, that was a week ago today. Those dark clouds are still in the sky. The Earth feels like its been drenched in a coat of tainted blood and the air smells rancid. I talked to Eula yesterday. She had gone to the graveyard and Patrick’s grave looked like it had been busted into and his body was gone. She said there were a lot of graves that were upheveled. That gave her a rested feeling of peace about Patrick.
I guess you’re wondering what my feelings on the matter are. To tell you the truth, I really dont know, but I do know this, later on on in the day, I’ll ride down to Bears tattoo Shop. I’ll watch him as he tattoos those young girls that come in. Then we will load up our bikes and head on down to Blue Hole and get high. Then I’ll worry about what awaits my fate.